One: patients who enter the consultation room with a diagnosis — their own. And whatever the doctor tries to explain them, they don’t give in. (They are usually wrong.)
Two: patients who come in with a partner who takes the word — especially in matters of (in)fertility. (“I don’t nee to be tested, doc, it’s certainly my husband !”) Sometimes they have to be removed in order to reach the true heart of the matter.
Three: theatrical people — often “Mediterranian types” (like my girlfriend calls them). They live at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum as opposed to, say, Nordic people. They scream before the medical examination has even started, and when they are told they have cancer, an Academy Award-winning performance for best drama is in the making.
Four: male patients who get an erection during a medical examination, and who — instead of apologizing — don’t say a single word, and grin.
They are usually thrown out after a heated reprimand by the lady doctor.
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