As an Undertaker, Would You Prefer to Be Buried or Cremated?

Now, this is an interesting question.
I must apologise for taking so long to respond, but I wanted to give it the respect it deserved. Rather than just giving my own opinion, I decided to do a bit of canvassing among my colleagues in the funeral trade.

I regularly work with about a dozen Funeral Directors (FDs) in my local area, and through professional networks and associations, I’ve had contact with about ten more internationally. So, I reached out to as many of them as possible. For transparency’s sake, I should note that since you first asked this question, I’ve only managed to speak with four Funeral Directors outside the UK — one in the United States (Orlando, Florida), one in Chișinău (Moldova), and two in Bucharest (Romania) — so the international sample is small but interesting nonetheless.

The British Directors

Here in the UK, the majority of the Funeral Directors I spoke to were either Anglican (Church of England) or Catholic, with one Free Church/Methodist among them.

Of these, seven said they would prefer to be cremated.
And their wishes were remarkably modest — they wanted their ashes to be disposed of in the simplest way possible. Most said they would be content for their cremains to be “strewn” in the gardens of the local crematorium.

In the trade, we rather irreverently refer to the local crematorium as our “Bake ’N Shake” — “bake” for obvious reasons, and “shake” for the scattering that follows.

Two others also chose cremation, but with slightly more sentimental preferences. One wanted his ashes to be kept until his wife passed, so that their cremains could be interred together in their church’s cemetery — somewhere their children and grandchildren could visit as a shared marker of memory. The other expressed a nearly identical wish, viewing the shared resting place as a symbol of their lifelong partnership.

One Funeral Director, however, said he had specified in his living will that he wanted burial, and that his wife’s ashes be placed in the coffin with him. When I asked why, his answer was rather practical — he and his wife had bought a grave plot thirty years earlier, when they were first married, and he “hated the idea of it going to waste.” (His exact words!)

And then there was one FD — known for his sharp wit and acerbic humour — who declared he wanted to be cremated and have his ashes dumped straight into the sea. His reasoning?
“Because,” he said, “my mother-in-law keeps telling me she can’t wait to dance on my grave.”

The European Perspective

Moving on to Bucharest, both Funeral Directors I spoke to there were adamant that burial was the only acceptable option — “de rigueur,” as one put it. Orthodox Christian tradition still places enormous emphasis on burial and the sanctity of the body, even though there are now a few crematories operating in the city.

The FD in Chișinău, Moldova, shared the same view — burial was not only cultural but deeply spiritual, tied to centuries of Orthodox practice and theology.

Across the Pond

The American Funeral Director I spoke to was a delight — and quite the character. He responded with almost theatrical indignation at the mere suggestion of a “simple” funeral.

He insisted he wanted “The Full Monty.”

He described, in detail, his perfect send-off:

• A hand-rubbed mahogany casket (or “coffin,” as we say in the UK) lined with Egyptian cotton,
• Deep embalming to maintain a “lifelike repose,”
• Hairdresser, cosmetic artist, and the softest pink lighting to enhance his complexion,
• An inlay of The Last Supper inside the lid,
• A “memorial pocket” or tray inside the casket for personal messages and tokens from loved ones,
• And, of course, a gold-plated casket key to seal the deal.

He envisioned a full funerary cortège: multiple flower cars, a late-model Cadillac hearse (though personally, I still prefer our Rolls-Royce hearses here in old Blighty), and police motorcycle escorts for the procession.

In the chapel, he wanted a slideshow of his life’s highlights, accompanied by a live string quartet. At the graveside: velour-covered chairs, a bronze-lined vault, and a ceremonial casting of earth using a sterling silver spade.

And finally, as if all that weren’t enough, he reached for a ring binder and flipped to a page marked “Catering Options.”
With a flourish, he said,

“And I’ll be having the Eternal Rest Epicurean Platinum package — hors d’oeuvres during viewing hours, jumbo prawns, crudités, kosher canapés, and a Ferrero Rocher tier.”